Friday, December 22, 2006

You know you are Asian when...

* When you tell your parents you got 98%, and they ask you what happened to the other 2%.

* There is a sale on any item, you buy 100 of them.

* You make tea in a saucepan.

* You never buy bin bags, but use your saved grocery bags for it.

* You put your clothes in suitcases instead of wardrobes.

* You have a 'Singer Brother' sewing machine at home.

* Your mother has a minor disagreement with her sister and doesn'ttalk to her for ten years.

* You call an older person you've never met before "uncle".

* You hide everything from your parents.

* Your mother does everything for you if you are male.

* You do all the housework and cooking if you are female.

* Your relatives alone could populate a small city.

* Everyone is a family friend.

* Everyone always called you for help on homework.

* You study law, medicine or engineering at university.

* You were thick so you studied computer science or business instead.

* You know no one who has studied music.

* You went to a university as far away from home as possible.

* You still came back home to live with your parents after you had finished.

* Your best friend got married at the age of 18.

* You like the meat well done.

* You eat onions with everything.

* You use chilli sauce instead of tomato ketchup.

* You fight over who pays the dinner bill.

* You say you hate Indian films/songs but secretly watch/hear them

* You avoid public places when with a member of the opposite sex, especially if there is an acquaintance within a 250 miles radius.

* You always say "open the light" instead of "turn the light on".

* You secure your baggage with a rope.

* You're walking out of customs with your trolley at the airport and you see all 25 members of your family who have come to pick you up.

* You get very upset when airlines refuse to accept your luggage which is just 80 lbs overweight.

* You go back to your parents' country and people treat you like a member of the royal family.

* You ask your dad a simple question and he tells you story of how he had to walk miles barefoot just to get to school.

* Your Dad drives a Nissan.

* You're rich so he drives a Mercedes.

* You are always taking off and putting on your shoes wherever you go.

* When you were little you always wondered why your English friends waited until after breakfast to brush their teeth when you did it first thing in the morning.

* To your English friends, oil is used purely for cooking and not as a grooming aid.

* Your parents have nicknames but only because people they work with just stop when trying to read their names

* You have annoying nicknames like "Chotu" or Chickoo"

* Your parents call all your friends "Beta" (son/daughter).

* Your mother measures wealth in gold and diamonds.

* Your parents drink 7 cups of tea a day.

* Your parents compare you to all of their friends' kids.

* At least once a week your mom says, "I want to go to India/Pakistan.".

* No one ever seems to call ahead of time to say they are coming over for a visit.

* Your parents worry what other people will think if you're not going to be a doctor/ engineer.

* You're parent's always say while shopping abroad, "It's cheaper in India/Pakistan."

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