Tourist written all over you

Have you ever wondered how local people always seem to know you're a tourist when you are traveling abroad?

To tell you the truth, it's not rocket science. I'm not a local, I'm an American, and I can spot a fellow tourist from a mile away.

Apart from the obvious differences, like our Yankee English and our baseball caps, there are 10 dead giveaways that the individual in front of you hails from the U-S-of-A.

And here they are:

1. Clothes make the tourist. White tennis shoes almost always announce an American tourist, just as black socks with shorts identify a British tourist. Sweatshirts with university names, baseball caps, cowboy hats and Hawaiian shirts are other signs that you are American.

2. Map quest. You know you've spotted an American tourist when you see him standing in the middle of a busy thoroughfare, consulting a city map with a puzzled look fixed to his face. No, sir, you're not in Kansas anymore.

3. Wallet check. Americans like to keep their wallets in their back pockets. This is not a safe practice, and they seem to be aware of it, because most Americans abroad have the habit of tapping their wallet every so often, just to make sure it's still there. Sadly, the habit is useless. I had my wallet stolen from me once and I never felt a thing. If your wallet gets lifted, the perpetrators will be long gone before you know it, and no amount of tapping is going to change that.

4. Center of the universe. For some reason, American tourists are extra-loud both in action and in words. True, they are on vacation and looking for fun, but they don't have to yell at each other while doing it: "IS THE MOW-NA LISA SUPPOSED TO BE ON THIS FLO-WOR?"

5. Creatures of habit. Whether it is McDonald's in Greece, The Olive Garden in Rome, or Starbucks in Lebanon, Americans tend to flock to familiar names when hunger or thirst sets in abroad. Once in a while, I do it too. Comfort food, I guess.

6. Feeling flush. When American tourists enter foreign toilet facilities for the first time, they are generally overcome with confusion and wonderment. Whether they've encountered an infrared automatic flush, a pull-chain handle, a hole in the ground or a bidet, you can bet their first remark upon exiting will be, "You won't believe what they've got in there!"

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